Don't Postpone Joy

Don’t Postpone Joy. That’s what is on a button I found last year at Kerrville Folk Festival I have tried to take those words to heart and experience joy. I have found it in bits and pieces and lately the chunks are getting bigger. That is a blessing I praise and count daily. I have been experiencing new friendship and lovely energy from members of the opposite sex. (that’s been typically frustrating, but fun at the same time, and since I have been so overwhelmed by grief and anxiety for the last year I haven’t given myself permission to feel those kinds of joys until now) This new found joy is being over shadowed somewhat by news from Mom. She has started chemo again. The fear started to dribble in. What if she gets an infection? What if her body rejects the drugs? Is it worth the possible extra time? I remind myself that it’s out of my hands, and that my joys are important. And I suppose even more important than my grief.